Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Nelson Mandela
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Everyone Loves a Parade
On Labor Day (Sept 4), we went to the Newtown Labor Day Parade. There is also a Newtown Labor Day Road Race. Next year I plan to run.
The Labor Day Parade was great - we all had a blast. It felt like a small town parade. We had a tough time getting David to come to the parade. Rachel's great idea was for him to wear computer headphones (he is sensitive to loud parade sounds). David wore his headphones and we finally made our way to the parade site. Ya know, there were a lot of loud noises - drums, trumpets, gun fire, trucks - but David was really great. I covered his ears when I sensed a very loud sound (fireworks).
David - every day and every moment you surprise me. You make me proud to be your father.
The Labor Day Parade was great - we all had a blast. It felt like a small town parade. We had a tough time getting David to come to the parade. Rachel's great idea was for him to wear computer headphones (he is sensitive to loud parade sounds). David wore his headphones and we finally made our way to the parade site. Ya know, there were a lot of loud noises - drums, trumpets, gun fire, trucks - but David was really great. I covered his ears when I sensed a very loud sound (fireworks).
David - every day and every moment you surprise me. You make me proud to be your father.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
David likes trains. David loves Thomas the Tank Engine. We went to a friend's house on Labor Day Weekend. All the kids played outside, David stayed inside with the Thomas Train set. He does play, but doesnt do well with others impeding on his train time.
We were blessed with our friend Lisa Cap, who understood and helped the other kids recognize and respect David. We also gained some wisdom from her on maybe reversing his train obsession - giving him train time every day. We will try it, monitor it and hope for the best. As Drew Cap would say - "Day by day, Agape"
True and lifelong friends are a gift from God.
We were blessed with our friend Lisa Cap, who understood and helped the other kids recognize and respect David. We also gained some wisdom from her on maybe reversing his train obsession - giving him train time every day. We will try it, monitor it and hope for the best. As Drew Cap would say - "Day by day, Agape"
True and lifelong friends are a gift from God.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
First Day of School
School started on Tuesday, August 29. Jaclyn started 1st grade & David started Kindergarten. All 5 of us walked to the bus stop on Tuesday morning. All 3 kids had backpacks and lunchboxes. We were welcomed by 10 other families at the bus stop. They yelled "Hurry up O'Learys - we are waiting for you to get in the picture!".
Bus arrived. David and Jaclyn ran onto bus. Bus took off. JP stood there in shock as the bus drove off. Mommy stood there in tears. Daddy continued to video tape.
JP, Mommy and Daddy walked hand in hand back home.
As we walked home we felt the following:
- Sense of comfort that our kids were excited to go to school.
- Nervous with how their day would go.
- Happy with our move & the welcoming reception of the neighborhood families.
- Sense of accomplishment that our kids are moving forward.
Why do I feel like the years are going too fast?
NOTE: David had a PPT meeting on Monday. We are extremely happy with the attention give by Newtown Special Services for David. They are evaluating him for the next 30 days and we reconvene in mid October. Shout out to fellow Spellman alumni, Marisol Troche (David's Superkids teacher) for being a strong advocate for us at this meeting.
Bus arrived. David and Jaclyn ran onto bus. Bus took off. JP stood there in shock as the bus drove off. Mommy stood there in tears. Daddy continued to video tape.
JP, Mommy and Daddy walked hand in hand back home.
As we walked home we felt the following:
- Sense of comfort that our kids were excited to go to school.
- Nervous with how their day would go.
- Happy with our move & the welcoming reception of the neighborhood families.
- Sense of accomplishment that our kids are moving forward.
Why do I feel like the years are going too fast?
NOTE: David had a PPT meeting on Monday. We are extremely happy with the attention give by Newtown Special Services for David. They are evaluating him for the next 30 days and we reconvene in mid October. Shout out to fellow Spellman alumni, Marisol Troche (David's Superkids teacher) for being a strong advocate for us at this meeting.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Taking Your Kids To Work
One major memory I have of my father is going to work with him. He worked in the World Trade Center Twin Towers as a telephone technician. Imagine the excitement of a 10 year old spending the day with his father. As my father setup telephone systems I ran around corporate offices, stairwells, areas marked "employees only" and essentially was "behind the scenes" of 2 large towers.
Today David and Jaclyn came to work with me. They met a boy, Evan who is the son of a co-worker. They played and ran throughout the office. They attended meetings with me.
Our exchange as we walked out of the office.
Jaclyn: "Daddy, I love you and I love when you take us to your job"
David: "Yeh Dad that was cool"
I always worry about David in these social settings. Especially seeing him interact with his peers makes my heart wrench. He wasn't perfect, but he was great.
This might be an experience for today but hopefully will be remembered for many tomorrows.
Today David and Jaclyn came to work with me. They met a boy, Evan who is the son of a co-worker. They played and ran throughout the office. They attended meetings with me.
Our exchange as we walked out of the office.
Jaclyn: "Daddy, I love you and I love when you take us to your job"
David: "Yeh Dad that was cool"
I always worry about David in these social settings. Especially seeing him interact with his peers makes my heart wrench. He wasn't perfect, but he was great.
This might be an experience for today but hopefully will be remembered for many tomorrows.
Friday, August 11, 2006
New Beginnings
I have not posted since May 31. Why? We sold our home in Stratford and now live in Newtown, CT. Needless to say, June and July has been unsettling yet exciting.
We spent the 1st night in our new home on August 6. That night prior to going to bed all 3 kids were running around the house. Since we have no furniture they found this fun. David stopped his running, looked at me and said, "Dad, this place is great!". Jaclyn stopped running, looked at me and said, "Dad, this place is so cool!"
That made this move all worthwhile.
We spent the 1st night in our new home on August 6. That night prior to going to bed all 3 kids were running around the house. Since we have no furniture they found this fun. David stopped his running, looked at me and said, "Dad, this place is great!". Jaclyn stopped running, looked at me and said, "Dad, this place is so cool!"
That made this move all worthwhile.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Love on his Terms
It is hard to believe that it is been a couple of weeks since my last post. My beautiful daughter's sixth birthday was May 18. I also captured a lot of wonderful moments on video. Our imminent family move has captured a lot of my time and attention.
Interesting show on ABC News Nightline about Adults with Autism (watch video). It made me stop in my tracks. I never pictured David as an adult. I never pictured caring for David as an adult. It made me wonder - what will his relationships with friends, co workers be like? Will he have a girlfriend? Is he capable of having friends, a job, a girlfriend?
What I do know is that I love David unconditionally. We have a special bond. I do know that he can love, in his way, and on his terms.
Interesting show on ABC News Nightline about Adults with Autism (watch video). It made me stop in my tracks. I never pictured David as an adult. I never pictured caring for David as an adult. It made me wonder - what will his relationships with friends, co workers be like? Will he have a girlfriend? Is he capable of having friends, a job, a girlfriend?
What I do know is that I love David unconditionally. We have a special bond. I do know that he can love, in his way, and on his terms.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Mother's (& Father's) Day
Yesterday was Mother's Day. May 14 is also my father's birthday (he would have been 62). So it is a bittersweet day for me.
Our Mother's Day went as follows:
1. Attended 9 am mass at St. James
2. Stopped at gas station (coffee and donuts for the OLeary gang)
3. Went to The Shore Line Trolley Museum. We bought our tickets and the kids ran to the trolley (all except JP who was cranky). Short 20 minute ride up and down the line (along with a tour). I really enjoyed myself simply watching Jaclyn & David get excited about the trolley.
4. Went to Pepe's pizza in New Haven. We sat, watched them make pizza, ate, and ran out.
5. Kids fell asleep on the way home
6. Dad fell asleep on couch when we arrived home
7. Mom fell asleep after Dad
8. At bedtime, I asked Jackie - "Did you have fun today?" Jackie replied, "Yes, I loved the donuts!"
Our Mother's Day went as follows:
1. Attended 9 am mass at St. James
2. Stopped at gas station (coffee and donuts for the OLeary gang)
3. Went to The Shore Line Trolley Museum. We bought our tickets and the kids ran to the trolley (all except JP who was cranky). Short 20 minute ride up and down the line (along with a tour). I really enjoyed myself simply watching Jaclyn & David get excited about the trolley.
4. Went to Pepe's pizza in New Haven. We sat, watched them make pizza, ate, and ran out.
5. Kids fell asleep on the way home
6. Dad fell asleep on couch when we arrived home
7. Mom fell asleep after Dad
8. At bedtime, I asked Jackie - "Did you have fun today?" Jackie replied, "Yes, I loved the donuts!"
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Fun Ending to a Long Day
When I arrived home from work tonight, all 3 kids were playing in the basement. I roared (in my best lion voice). I hear David say "Run for your lives". Jackie says "It's a monster". JP just ran in circles. That was fun.
Jaclyn asked David and I to sit down. She played teacher and instructed us in Global Studies (passing around a Globe; asking us to name different countries on Abu's Globe). That was fun.
Next I played teacher (Mr. Page). I asked David and Jaclyn to write their name, draw the sun, the moon, a house, a picture of me, and something they get on their birthday (David drew a present and asked, "Dad, er, Mr. Page - can I draw a bow on my present"; Jaclyn drew Barbie)
That was fun.
Lastly JP pulled me upstairs by the finger (per our routine). Into my bed (per our routine). We laid down looking at each other and practiced our snoring (per our routine). We then stop, open our eyes and yell at each other "HELLO!". JP cackles and we repeat (per our routine). That was fun.
Jaclyn asked David and I to sit down. She played teacher and instructed us in Global Studies (passing around a Globe; asking us to name different countries on Abu's Globe). That was fun.
Next I played teacher (Mr. Page). I asked David and Jaclyn to write their name, draw the sun, the moon, a house, a picture of me, and something they get on their birthday (David drew a present and asked, "Dad, er, Mr. Page - can I draw a bow on my present"; Jaclyn drew Barbie)
That was fun.
Lastly JP pulled me upstairs by the finger (per our routine). Into my bed (per our routine). We laid down looking at each other and practiced our snoring (per our routine). We then stop, open our eyes and yell at each other "HELLO!". JP cackles and we repeat (per our routine). That was fun.
Being a Leader
One of the pressures I find with being a Dad (as well as a husband, friend, co-worker) is that others lean on you. In some sense, I want that. I am a fiercely passionate and loyal person. Building a relationship is built on "I will be there for you". Vice versa, I need to lean on others at one time or another.
I remember being a Dad for the 1st time and that overwhelming feeling of "WOW, now I really have to get my act together!". Currently, I sense that my children are watching how I respond to daily activities - whether I am joyful, angry, sad, peaceful or in control.
That is the hard part for me now - being a leader not just during the easy times, but at all times. Being a leader in word and action. I feel like I am failing a lot lately - I have work to do. I love my family. Rachel, Jaclyn, David, and JP - I accept the challenge of being a leader for our growing family.
I remember being a Dad for the 1st time and that overwhelming feeling of "WOW, now I really have to get my act together!". Currently, I sense that my children are watching how I respond to daily activities - whether I am joyful, angry, sad, peaceful or in control.
That is the hard part for me now - being a leader not just during the easy times, but at all times. Being a leader in word and action. I feel like I am failing a lot lately - I have work to do. I love my family. Rachel, Jaclyn, David, and JP - I accept the challenge of being a leader for our growing family.
Friday, April 28, 2006
The Little Red Car
This evening, all of us walked in Second Hill Lane school's Relay for Life. This event honors cancer victims. We walked in support of Nana (a.k.a. my mom).
The kids were tired from walking, so Rachel went home with Jaclyn and JP. David and I went on the Second Hill Lane baseball diamond. I can't explain it, but I just love the smell of a baseball field. David ran around the bases and I showed him how to pitch. We ended our time together with 2 things. The first is that I felt guilty for not purchasing a baseball glove for my son. The second with David peeing on the outfield grass (when a man has to go....a man has to go)
David and I walked hand in hand to my car. Upon arriving he asked me if he can "open the red car". I showed him which key and he opened the car door. With door ajar, and just about to step inside, David looked up at me and said proudly, "Dad, that was a great night!"
The kids were tired from walking, so Rachel went home with Jaclyn and JP. David and I went on the Second Hill Lane baseball diamond. I can't explain it, but I just love the smell of a baseball field. David ran around the bases and I showed him how to pitch. We ended our time together with 2 things. The first is that I felt guilty for not purchasing a baseball glove for my son. The second with David peeing on the outfield grass (when a man has to go....a man has to go)
David and I walked hand in hand to my car. Upon arriving he asked me if he can "open the red car". I showed him which key and he opened the car door. With door ajar, and just about to step inside, David looked up at me and said proudly, "Dad, that was a great night!"
Leap of Faith
Picture me in my best ring announcer voice.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Please welcome, live on stage, the one, the only, the handiest man in town......<>Mr. JP O'Leary!!!! <>
We all watch in amazement as JP jumps off a box, approximately 12 inches off the ground. Simple yes. But JP is not even 2 years old yet! I am truly in awe of his accomplishments. All the credit in the world goes to Rachel (the captain) , Jaclyn (co-captain) and David (1st mate). He follows their every move. He wants to be like them in every way.
This simple leap reminds me of our family's leap of faith. If it is God's will, we are moving in the next 60 days. Keep reading as I keep you posted.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Please welcome, live on stage, the one, the only, the handiest man in town......<
We all watch in amazement as JP jumps off a box, approximately 12 inches off the ground. Simple yes. But JP is not even 2 years old yet! I am truly in awe of his accomplishments. All the credit in the world goes to Rachel (the captain) , Jaclyn (co-captain) and David (1st mate). He follows their every move. He wants to be like them in every way.
This simple leap reminds me of our family's leap of faith. If it is God's will, we are moving in the next 60 days. Keep reading as I keep you posted.
Friday, April 14, 2006
My Love Is A Covenant
I learned something today. Well, better put - I learned how little I know today. My experience with Fatherhood continues to be a learning experience. I learned my love for my family is NOT a contract. That is, I do not love because contractually I am being loved back. That is hard for me personally because in many relationships I wonder "How am I doing?" As a father, your performance is difficult to gauge because with young kids - feedback is rare.
My love for my wife and my children is UNCONDITIONAL. It is covenantial love. I wonder how many times with family and friends I placed "a contract" on that love, that friendship? Are the feelings I have for my family and friends freely given (without expectation of reciprocation)? Something for me to think about.
My love for my wife and my children is UNCONDITIONAL. It is covenantial love. I wonder how many times with family and friends I placed "a contract" on that love, that friendship? Are the feelings I have for my family and friends freely given (without expectation of reciprocation)? Something for me to think about.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Autism Awareness Month
April is Autism Awareness Month. Still researching something to do for David & the family. Maybe a 4 mile run or a Walkathon? Maybe attend a seminar? Not sure. But certainly will do something this year. What I continue to learn is that fatherhood is a journey, a roller coaster - so I am joyfully holding on for the ride.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Pictures Are Worth 1000 Words
For all those faithful followers of this blog (and you know who you are), I will probably start posting photos. So stay tuned. Why do you ask? Well, there are just some moments that need to be shown not told.
Kenny Kodak Moments:
1. SETTING: Sunday, March 19 @ Nana & Poppy's House. Nana & Poppy have a piano. So lets see - 3 kids, 1 piano = lots of noise. Picture all 3 O'Learys bangin' away at this piano - Kodak Moment
2. SETTING: Sunday Night, March 19 @ Trumbull Marriott Hotel. 1 Hotel Room, 2 Queen Beds, 2 Adults, 3 Kids = A Bonding Family Experience. Honestly, I expected mayhem. In reality - I carried a sleeping 40 pound boy (David) up to the hotel room (1 asleep). Jaclyn & J.P. cackling away while J.P. finished his milk - Kodak Moment.
3. SETTING: Any Weekday morning prior to School, OLeary household approximately 7:45 am. Post Breakfast Parade. Jaclyn puts on her backpack, invites J.P. to put on David's backpack (which is twice J.P.'s size) and they march around the house - Kodak Moment.
CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT
Me: "Rae, quick get the camera and take a photo of me with J.P.
Rachel: (camera in hand) "Great photo honey, um, but...but...your hair"
Me: (fully knowing I look disheveled) "dont worry, just focus on J.P."
Kenny Kodak Moments:
1. SETTING: Sunday, March 19 @ Nana & Poppy's House. Nana & Poppy have a piano. So lets see - 3 kids, 1 piano = lots of noise. Picture all 3 O'Learys bangin' away at this piano - Kodak Moment
2. SETTING: Sunday Night, March 19 @ Trumbull Marriott Hotel. 1 Hotel Room, 2 Queen Beds, 2 Adults, 3 Kids = A Bonding Family Experience. Honestly, I expected mayhem. In reality - I carried a sleeping 40 pound boy (David) up to the hotel room (1 asleep). Jaclyn & J.P. cackling away while J.P. finished his milk - Kodak Moment.
3. SETTING: Any Weekday morning prior to School, OLeary household approximately 7:45 am. Post Breakfast Parade. Jaclyn puts on her backpack, invites J.P. to put on David's backpack (which is twice J.P.'s size) and they march around the house - Kodak Moment.
CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT
Me: "Rae, quick get the camera and take a photo of me with J.P.
Rachel: (camera in hand) "Great photo honey, um, but...but...your hair"
Me: (fully knowing I look disheveled) "dont worry, just focus on J.P."
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Yes, I know I am a couple of days late with wishing everyone a Happy St. Patrick's Day. However, I have a grace period since my kids now outnumber my brain cells.
I try to have a tradition of spending time with my Mom on St. Patrick's Day. Since I was young she always made this day special for me - wishing me a "Happy Name Day" - my middle name is Patrick.
This year, Nana (my Mom), myself and David went to the Bridgeport St. Patrick's Day Parade. It turned out to be a real nice day, or a "treat" as my mother would say. Upon arriving, David got scared of the marching band drums and loud music - actually holding his ears and running away. We calmed him down and he was able to see balloons and trucks about a 1/2 block from the parade. Slowly over time, we worked our way to front of the parade crowd. We bought a Green Trumpet and David had a blast. He saw the Bridgeport Bluefish and more trucks. We even had more marching bands come by - he was visibly upset by the sound - but intently stayed to watch. I was so proud to watch him overcome his fear and have courage knowing I was by his side.
The day ended at a local Irish establishment you may have heard of - McDonalds. No corn beef only McNuggets. Upon leaving David said, "Nana, would you be my Valentine?"
I try to have a tradition of spending time with my Mom on St. Patrick's Day. Since I was young she always made this day special for me - wishing me a "Happy Name Day" - my middle name is Patrick.
This year, Nana (my Mom), myself and David went to the Bridgeport St. Patrick's Day Parade. It turned out to be a real nice day, or a "treat" as my mother would say. Upon arriving, David got scared of the marching band drums and loud music - actually holding his ears and running away. We calmed him down and he was able to see balloons and trucks about a 1/2 block from the parade. Slowly over time, we worked our way to front of the parade crowd. We bought a Green Trumpet and David had a blast. He saw the Bridgeport Bluefish and more trucks. We even had more marching bands come by - he was visibly upset by the sound - but intently stayed to watch. I was so proud to watch him overcome his fear and have courage knowing I was by his side.
The day ended at a local Irish establishment you may have heard of - McDonalds. No corn beef only McNuggets. Upon leaving David said, "Nana, would you be my Valentine?"
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Jackie and the Retrievers: Part II
Yesterday was our last game for Jackie & the Retrievers. We had a great season. What I enjoyed most was seeing the growth in the kids - not only in their basketball skills, but also in their bond together. That is why I love to coach - watching individuals develop into a team.
Jackie: I enjoyed coaching you this year. I enjoyed watching you happily dribble the ball up the court. I was so proud of the way you shot the ball and the way you played defense. Most of all, I enjoyed the nights taking you to practice. I loved spending time together, just you and I. I love you momma.
Jackie: I enjoyed coaching you this year. I enjoyed watching you happily dribble the ball up the court. I was so proud of the way you shot the ball and the way you played defense. Most of all, I enjoyed the nights taking you to practice. I loved spending time together, just you and I. I love you momma.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
David Beats Goliath
This is a must read article J-Mac's meaningful message for Autism.
Even better, if you download ESPN Motion, you can see the video.
Bring the tissues, if you decide to watch.
Things I learned today:
1. I must always give David a chance whenever possible.
2. David faces miniature hurdles each day that often aren't readily visible to me or those on the outside.
3. There is no known cure for what David faces.
4. I have hope, faith, promise and love for David.
5. David must be included in all things, so he can live a relatively normal life. By providing him with experiences, he can excel at a much greater level than if he were isolated.
6. Find a positive environment for David, an environment of adults and kids who accept him for who he is.
With the news of my previous post, I know siblings are blessing for David. Jaclyn and J.P. have been a great support system for David. Why? They interact with him with no strings attached. They love him, play with him, tackle him, play hide & seek with him, play tag & dress-up with him. He responds to them (and to other kids) so beautifully. They simply love him for who he is - their brother, friend and playmate.
Keep going David - you will defeat Goliath!
Even better, if you download ESPN Motion, you can see the video.
Bring the tissues, if you decide to watch.
Things I learned today:
1. I must always give David a chance whenever possible.
2. David faces miniature hurdles each day that often aren't readily visible to me or those on the outside.
3. There is no known cure for what David faces.
4. I have hope, faith, promise and love for David.
5. David must be included in all things, so he can live a relatively normal life. By providing him with experiences, he can excel at a much greater level than if he were isolated.
6. Find a positive environment for David, an environment of adults and kids who accept him for who he is.
With the news of my previous post, I know siblings are blessing for David. Jaclyn and J.P. have been a great support system for David. Why? They interact with him with no strings attached. They love him, play with him, tackle him, play hide & seek with him, play tag & dress-up with him. He responds to them (and to other kids) so beautifully. They simply love him for who he is - their brother, friend and playmate.
Keep going David - you will defeat Goliath!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
3 + 1 = 4
I have news, and thinking about how to say this.....well, I will just blurt it out - I AM PREGNANT! There, that was easy.
O'Leary Baby # 4 expected at end of year. Stay tuned for more details.
When I heard the news of the impending birth of each of my children (from my wife) it felt surreal. Also each time I wondered about the impact of the baby on the other children. It's funny, but I can not picture LIFE without Jaclyn, David or J.P. Interestingly enough, I get the sense they can not picture life without each other as well. I can not explain it all here how much they learn from each other and how much they love each other. That is what is exciting for me - they are building memories together. I just happen to be Dad - the captain of the ship. Of course having a baby is a sacrifice in many areas - $$, time, and sleep (to name a few). But life is so precious - I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be their Dad. I can not imagine having my life focused on other things outside of building a family.
Exchange between my wife and Jaclyn:
Rachel: "Jaclyn, mommy has a baby in her belly?"
Jaclyn: "Really, can I kiss it and bless it?"
Rachel: "Sure honey, - you know mommy is going to have a baby."
Jaclyn: "When, tomorrow?"
O'Leary Baby # 4 expected at end of year. Stay tuned for more details.
When I heard the news of the impending birth of each of my children (from my wife) it felt surreal. Also each time I wondered about the impact of the baby on the other children. It's funny, but I can not picture LIFE without Jaclyn, David or J.P. Interestingly enough, I get the sense they can not picture life without each other as well. I can not explain it all here how much they learn from each other and how much they love each other. That is what is exciting for me - they are building memories together. I just happen to be Dad - the captain of the ship. Of course having a baby is a sacrifice in many areas - $$, time, and sleep (to name a few). But life is so precious - I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be their Dad. I can not imagine having my life focused on other things outside of building a family.
Exchange between my wife and Jaclyn:
Rachel: "Jaclyn, mommy has a baby in her belly?"
Jaclyn: "Really, can I kiss it and bless it?"
Rachel: "Sure honey, - you know mommy is going to have a baby."
Jaclyn: "When, tomorrow?"
Friday, February 24, 2006
Another Birthday
Today I am 36 years old. Birthdays are milestones and I often like to gauge progress (its the Project Manager in me) at this time as well as on New Years Eve. Things can always be better, but I am happy with my family, friends, and work. My gut senses I have to work on the play part - the social aspect, but that time will come (in 25 years when the kids are out of the house)
Jaclyn knows exactly how she feels about her birthday. She has told me what she wants for her birthday since December (her 6th birthday is May 18). That level of excitement for my birthday is just not there. Not that I am unhappy. I feel more excited about my wife's birthday or my children's birthday. Maybe that is maturing? I realize that I truly love serving my family more than being served.
I spent yesterday alone & did not like it. I never enjoy spending too much time away from my wife. Now with children - that feeling has grown exponentially. You figure I would enjoy the time - but honestly, I felt lost & misguided. That feeling felt odd. I missed Jaclyn. We spoke on the phone and I enjoyed just hearing her say "I love you Daddy". I missed David. He asked me on the phone "How is your day?", I answered "Great, How was yours?" and he said something about the Letter C. I missed looking into J.P.'s eyes.
Happy 36th Birthday to me!
Jaclyn knows exactly how she feels about her birthday. She has told me what she wants for her birthday since December (her 6th birthday is May 18). That level of excitement for my birthday is just not there. Not that I am unhappy. I feel more excited about my wife's birthday or my children's birthday. Maybe that is maturing? I realize that I truly love serving my family more than being served.
I spent yesterday alone & did not like it. I never enjoy spending too much time away from my wife. Now with children - that feeling has grown exponentially. You figure I would enjoy the time - but honestly, I felt lost & misguided. That feeling felt odd. I missed Jaclyn. We spoke on the phone and I enjoyed just hearing her say "I love you Daddy". I missed David. He asked me on the phone "How is your day?", I answered "Great, How was yours?" and he said something about the Letter C. I missed looking into J.P.'s eyes.
Happy 36th Birthday to me!
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