Friday, February 16, 2018

My Father Died Today

My father died today.  30 years ago today.  No warning.  Early morning.  Our final moments together we watched sports.  Went to bed.  Then time stood still.

I am not bitter.  His death changed me.  I promised myself I would face adversity.  Smile often.  Forgive even more.  I would treat everyone with respect.  I would hold my tongue.  I would speak the truth.  I would enjoy life's moments and laugh loudly.  Life stops for no man.  Not even for a great man.

Jack was a great man.  If you met him you understand.  If not, then I wish you did.

Every boys relationship with his Dad is complicated.  An early death complicates life even more.
A mans relationship with his Dad is answered by "Are you proud of me?"
This answer I will never know.

These things I do know. I teach my children not to fear adversity.  I teach them to work hard in school and play hard for your coaches.  I teach them to take time to absorb the loss of a cousin or a classmate.  I greet them each morning with a smile.  I say hello and know the name of everyone I meet.  I look my children in the eye and I treat them with respect.  I hold my tongue when needed.  I speak the truth when life demands it.  I choose to forgive every day.   These lessons have served me well.  My teenagers fight these lessons now.  But in their time they will understand.

I enjoy every moment I am given.  I have not been the perfect son, brother, husband, father or friend.  If our paths cross soon (and I hope they do).  Lets toast to our imperfect lives.  With a tear and a laugh.

My father died today.  30 years ago today.  He is alive. He is proud. A promise kept. 

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