Sunday, June 19, 2011

Fathers Day Blues

Fathers Day is a day to celebrate Fatherhood (from a non Dad perspective).
However If you are a Dad, Fathers Day has a different lens.
Today we celebrate, embrace and reminisce about our children.

There are challenges of being a Dad (JohnnyO vs the Lawn Mower)
There are celebrations like D winning 3rd place in his karate competition.
There are milestones like playing golf with JP for the first time today.
We had a walk to the lake today, a bike ride in the neighborhood and a game of Jenga with my little 4 yr old smooka. Not a bad day pre fathers day.

But I realized something today. I am sad. I have been sad since Jan 1. That date was a mark to let my niece Ciara live into 2011. She made it, but not for long.

I miss Ciara. I miss my Dad. Losing my Dad when I was 17 really hurt, I can never explain that pain. Losing Ciara for me was different. I feel extreme sadness.

Ciara's Dad, my brother in law, has been an inspiration for me this past year. He is a living example of how a Dad loves his child, unconditionally.

Don't waste an opportunity. Savor the good times. Earn your stripes during the bad times. I know starting today my fatherhood matters more than ever.


Anonymous said...

John... Happy Father's Day! You are an amazing Father, Uncle and God Father. I have heard so much about your father, I wish I could have met him, but I think that I get a glimpse of him as a Dad when we're in your company. I understand your sadness and I feel it too, but I do hope you enjoy your day! ~ Leah

Carolyn Polchinski, CSHS 1988 said...

John, very moving piece..... Thank you for sharing. ~I can't imagine all you, Kate, Michael, and the rest of your family is going through, grieving the loss of your neice, Ciara. ~ My thoughts & prayers and with all of you each day. ~xoxo~ Carolyn Polchinski, CSHS 1988