Thursday, November 08, 2007

Burdens of a Father

I have been burdened this week (for many reasons) of focusing on protecting my children. I feel this extreme desire (good) as well as pressure (bad) that I must protect them. It sounds sort of "caveman-ish", archaeic or even animalistic. But even as I type, I am not sure how to truly express it.

I have an overwhelmingly passion to continue to support their needs and desires financially. That is interplayed with the notion that this financial support is dependant on other factors (people, my company). This support is immediate as well as long term. I have an overwhelmingly sense I need to protect them from "the dangers of the outside world". I have this overwhelming fear that I am turning into my father (is this good or bad?)

One example I remember is a gut wrenching feeling when I learned my kids would be taking the bus to school - I could not imagine ENTRUSTING their safety with someone else.

So I wonder, will these feelings always be a part of me as a Dad?
I also wonder if these feelings a part of something that all Dad's face?

I continue to beat up the treadmill on a daily basis pondering Fatherhood matters.


The Father of Five said...

I think your feelings are quite normal. I also think both the desire (good) and pressure (bad) are not a "bad" thing.

When you do not ballance out desire vs pressure, then you have too much of one, and not enough of the other.

As far as protecting them from the dangers of the outside world. There is nothing wrong with protecting them - I also belive that "protecting them" does not mean isoloating them from dangers of the world, it means "educating them about the dangers of the world".

If they are not aware of the dangers, when the time comes that they get to spread their wings a little bit, they will have zero knowledge about the bad things, and how to handle them.

I think these feelings are always going to be part of what you will face - day-to-day. They may ebb and flow - changing as your kids change - but to one degree or another - it will always be with you.

I also believe all LOVING and CARING fathers face these same issues.

Trust me when I tell you, you'd be frightened to know how many do not...

Good Luck!

princess said...

Dropped by to greet you and your wonderful family a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You are very normal - feeling the way you do. I would not want to think of that day when no dad worries about his child anymore....